Day 11 – Something Blue
Today I am renewed. I got up and went to church for the first time since I found out I was pregnant. Within minutes of sitting down, I felt a peace come over me that I had been missing for the last 6 months. Here I’d thought I’d been working so hard toward something that was my future, that I felt God was leading me to, and I’d only wound up feeling discouraged, depressed, and frustrated. So today I decided to set my priorities straight again, to take time out for God to heal my soul.
And when the minister began his sermon, it was as if God put His hand on my shoulder and said “Don’t worry…I’ve got this.” The minister spoke about discouragement, and a reminder to trust God, not you. It couldn’t have been a more perfectly timed message.
I came home, and the sun seemed to shine more brilliantly, the air seemed crisper and more refreshing, and I couldn’t bear going back inside. So I decided to do something else that was long overdue – I pruned my roses. I love roses, and a couple years ago, I ordered and planted a beautiful, Old English variety along our front walk. But I’d left them to their own devices, and they hadn’t made much progress, becoming scraggly-looking things that were covered with dead, blackened heads. As I snipped away the old heads and dead branches, I felt pained at all the branches I had to take off, all the offshoots that could have been sizable growth, but instead had festered without nurturing. But as I brought them back to earlier nodes that exposed green, healthy cores, I felt the bush healing. By ridding it of what was stunting and choking it, I was allowing it to breathe and turning its focus to new growth.
It’s time to prune my own life. Time to rid myself of the dead branches that discourage me, frustrate me, and worse, distract me from true, nurtured growth. It’s time for me to stop trusting myself, and start trusting God with all I do. So for my something blue, I wrote myself a reminder and pinned it to my inspiration board. So when I start to feel discouragement creeping in, I can regain my focus and continue to grow.